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Of new beginnings

I've had a lot of first times over the last couple of months. Living on the east coast, stepping from under my parents protective wing, snow on my coat. Trivial yet something I had a longing to see was snow fall. I have seen snow more in form of glaciers near the Himalayas and trekked on it at Franz Josef but never the gliding of tiny soft balls of white making their presence felt. Anybody who hasn't seen snow fall secretly would kill to see one. I just haven't met anyone that doesn't care about seeing snow. Your first snow fall is almost like your first kiss. Yes, I am being dramatic but I am like that ok? The intensity and the quantity doesn't matter what matters is that it happened and you were there to witness it happen. I remember feeling like a kid when I saw the first tiny balls of snow after my Finance class. A girl walking ahead spread her arms out Shahrukh Khan style and had the most content smile on her face. I initially dismissed this drizzle as rain but was quick enough to notice this felt nicer on your face. I sheepishly confirmed with Shahrukh Khan if this was snow indeed! A cheerful yes in reply. I quickly grabbed my smartphone to share this with friends & family. Having known me for years they knew the right thing to do was to cheer on :)

Another first time is the little one that crawled into my belly without making much of a splash initially but rippling out huge waves of excitement soon enough. I was never too excited to begin with because there was always an overwhelming fear or awkwardness that there is something inside me. Just like in the alien movies except this time around I had a deep sense of protecting it. The rosy feeling about being connected and motherhood is something that doesn't come easy, and I don't see it touching me anytime soon. I still treat him like he is going to be somebody I can take along when I want to travel. Its probably the fear I've always associated with responsibility and there is nothing like the responsibility of shaping somebody's life. I do have those random thoughts about taking him to the Jim Corbett park or Agumbe where Malgudi was apparently shot. Experienced moms around tend to advice me about building a bond through conversations he can now hear. I gave in and failed miserably. What I do feel glad about is how smoothly I transitioned from month 1 to month 8 while studying Finance, researching on wireless lighting, designing a robot, waking up at 6 every morning to be at college till 9 in the night with almost no signs of sickness and better skin. The only thing I have truly missed is to be able to live up to my image of doing crazy things and travelling but life hasn't ended right? Life has begun within me.

















Comments

Jerusha said…
Ruthuuu! You're so lucky you've seen snow fall. I've gone skiing and stuff but I've never actually seen the damn things come down from the sky. The closest thing to that was when it started raining slushy icy rain..sleet? I can picture you doing the Shahrukh arm thing with the snow, you should have joined the girl who did it :) And yes, I can only think of you as the really adventurous girl, not as the blogging mom-to-be haha Take care of yourself and baby! So exciting all of this

February 28, 2013 at 8:39:00 AM PST
Ruthu said…
hahaha i know jeru! i shouldve done the shahrukh khan thing!
March 4, 2013 at 6:43:00 AM PST
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