Skip to main content

Baby, i am your puppet on a string...

Making me tumble and swing
trouble's what you bring
strange love
strange how, you control my every little move now
hanging from your strings is all i know

Koop probably had a young lad in mind but the words really do reflect my experience as a first time mom! For most women, the core like a good friend says is to cater to everyone around you willingly so when some one steps in to your life that adamantly insists they need you and you alone; its time to say a big 'oh yeahhhh' that's right I am kind of a big deal around here!

People that know me well enough know straight away that I am not a kids person so when the kit turned green indicating someone taking up space in my belly I worried for it. The baby was going to be my guinea pig! The first two weeks are overwhelming with a paramount feeling of attachment after that it's pretty much like a routine of jumping from task to task. The hormonal interactions are purely chemical and considered to be the most powerful forms in nature, and who was I to fight something like that so I willingly succumbed. The surprise however did not lie in watching my husband choke or seeing my mom tear up when she first saw him, the surprise lay in the 3 a.m toothless grin making you feel like your presence pleases somebody so much and that there is no one else they'd rather see on opening their eyes is sure to bring tears to your eyes. 

As I watch my contemporaries and their kids growing up, I always wonder how S is going  to be, is he going to be a troubled sleeper making me want to say "yeh toh mujhe nichod ke rakh dega" (quoting a friend about her daughter, i couldn't stop laughing for an hour), is he going to squat indian style on the dining table almost giving everyone around a heart attack because he couldn't let himself into the washroom, or is he going to pretend to be helpful just to taste some brew out of the 'oh so interesting' green bottle. For now, I will continue to hum in my sleep while beating my chest giving every one the impression of being possessed.

With baby comes a few good things, 




genes, 





... and some beautiful things that the stork leaves behind.




Comments

Neha Ladha said…
What aye Beauty of a writing. Loved it!! I hope your well!
*hugs*
June 26, 2013 at 8:07:00 PM PDT
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

End of an era!

    bhajagovindaM bhajagovindaM govindaM bhajamuuDhamate . saMpraapte sannihite kaale nahi nahi rakshati DukRiJNkaraNe This was a song I heard, playing on the tape recorder, every single day for the years that I lived with Ammamma. I never bothered understanding the meaning but listening to it now, I know how appropriate it is to her approach to life as she grew older.  Visiting Ammamma in July       At 108, she always had the brightest smile and sense of humour to try and keep an incoherent conversation alive with kids, grandkids, great grandkids & great-great grandkids. All she enjoyed even as she approached her century was prayers, watching the bustling street of Kingsway, a hello to her neighbours and the once in a while indulging herself in a piece of chocolate. Her food and other needs were super minimal. She lived by herself and on her terms. I won't go into the horrors of how adamant at times but instead... My most memorable moments with her wer...
Post a Comment
Read more

Milestones

We measure our lives based on these, we are guided by these, & we change with these sometimes. Your first steps, your first words, then for the longest duration in between its about how much you scored, how many you scored or how much you made for your self and your next generation but there comes a time when you truly start living for yourself. My dad turned 60 a few weeks ago and so I promptly tucked my son into my arms and braved the long journey to India with him alone. I've been fortunate to travel back and forth to India once every 6 months from the time I moved to the US considering most NRIs are known for their rather infrequent visits because of visa issues and sometimes their personal preference. Me, I am a sucker to go back every 2 months if I could. Hopefully in the long run I don't have to do this and will move back permanently. Friends and family say that will change with time. This trip was very important to me. I wanted to be there to see my dad turn 60...
1 comment
Read more

Life and its relation to the Circle!

Senility begins and middle age ends when descendants outnumber friends. Too early for me to think about middle age and lesser friends but a series of events got me wondering if I was getting there earlier than I am supposed to. With my son away in desh, I was heavily dependent on technology to ensure I stayed in his hippocampus. As most trips to India, this one was heavily planned as well, and I was overtly excited about it but a sudden unfortunate incident brought me back to square one. The last year has been marked by constant changes that have tested me for flexibility of a trapeze artist considering my resistance to change is unpleasant(very mildly put) to me and others around me. The one thing I have admired in a very good friend but hated being put through was to be able to let go of a structure and not have a boundary. Ironically, its the one thing I have come out learning with all of these changes. My father-in-law that I barely got to spend time with passed away in a month ...
4 comments
Read more