C'est moi

    bhajagovindaM bhajagovindaM govindaM bhajamuuDhamate . saMpraapte sannihite kaale nahi nahi rakshati DukRiJNkaraNe This was a song I heard, playing on the tape recorder, every single day for the years that I lived with Ammamma. I never bothered understanding the meaning but listening to it now, I know how appropriate it is to her approach to life as she grew older.  Visiting Ammamma in July       At 108, she always had the brightest smile and sense of humour to try and keep an incoherent conversation alive with kids, grandkids, great grandkids & great-great grandkids. All she enjoyed even as she approached her century was prayers, watching the bustling street of Kingsway, a hello to her neighbours and the once in a while indulging herself in a piece of chocolate. Her food and other needs were super minimal. She lived by herself and on her terms. I won't go into the horrors of how adamant at times but instead... My most memorable moments with her wer...

One of the best things about being in a place like Bay Area is access to opportunities. No, I am not talking about Silicon Valley, I am talking about opportunities to getaway every weekend. One such weekend destination is North America's second deepest and alpine lake, Lake Tahoe. At an elevation of 6225 ft approx. Lake Tahoe, is easy to get to, and gorgeous as heaven. It has two seasons - gorgeous summers and snow-clad gorgeous winters. My nephew is visiting from the east coast and instead of doing a trip to the city again, this time around we planned on a day trip to Big Sur, the past weekend to Lake Tahoe. Not that these two places are not the usual to-do's but at least I hadn't been to either before. We live in the south bay so its about a 4 1/2 hr drive keeping in mind a pitstop since we were traveling with a toddler. Up until Sacramento and Folsom, it was just a regular drive through the US cities but once we hit the hair pin turns and mountainous terrain of Eldo...

The day I The day I was like WTF?: As I sat on the throne synonymous for quality personal time, e coli layered gadgets, political cogitation, and optimizing your mobile phone space, I took a deep breath much like the gorilla in the cadbury ad as Phil Collins went about the air tonight, and broke into "mmmmm... yeh duniya yeh duniya pital di, yeh duniya pital di" Yes, I did that! The day I fractured my leg: The top rope belay systems were in place, I was free climbing with minimal support somewhere deep in Yosemite when I spotted a tiny lamb stuck in between. Heeding to the animal lover in me, I reached out and tried to help him/her down but instead fell to my fate of a fractured leg. Sounds heroic right? A little bit like me? I mean seriously I totally could've been in that position. Nope, thats definitely not how it happened, I went down a smoothened stone slide in a children's park pretending to have fun with my son. As we approached the bottom of t...

The first time S mentioned a trip to Hawaii, I was excited but it never happened, the second time I heard of us going to Hawaii, I was still excited and it never materialized so when the third time Hawaii came up, I said 'Sure, we'll get right on that!' I just got back and boy is my son relieved! Not because he didn't have fun wading at the pool never wanting to get out or playing with his sand toys but because on our last day we also dragged him along damn close to 4 year old, 10ft, 1000 lbs bottlenose dolphins, and took him on a 1500 ft altitude helicopter ride amid waterfalls and active volcanoes. So you know how much screaming was involved - I am sorry Nahale (Dolphin) & Mr. Pilot. You have been traumatized for life. The trip was planned for our 5th anniversary by the one I shall refer to as my 'better half' just for the sake of this post and making this trip happen. I like to keep that title for myself usually. After overpacking and under plan...

This article by Urvashi Butalia is one of the many articles (Read original article here.) and opinions I've read about, for & against the trophy of motherhood ceremoniously handed to women. I have a 2 yr old son and I can't think of a world without him now. The operative word being 'now.' I don't think of him as somebody who will pay for my bills when my husband and I retire (at least not yet), I don't even think of him obligated to give me grand children with my genes to play with (we live pretty close to SF, not being judgmental but simply being open).  Having said that, I know quite a few women, acquaintances & close friends, that don't really dream of motherhood. I see a lot of people around me being appalled by it but I cannot for the love of god understand why. I don't see you guys going around asking sadus why they are celibate. Isn't having sex the natural thing to do? In that sense, aren't you going against nature? A couple o...

This is an attempt at a series of things that I think you might face with your offspring whatever age they are at. Mine is currently 2 1/2. I am looking at calling it ‘What Would She Do?’ After my son turned 2, I started getting a little confident about traveling with him and taking him to places. No fault of his, he is a great kid. Very flexible and easy going but like most new moms, I constantly worried about whether any external factors would cause him discomfort right from the availability of food, weather, place, people, etc. I started getting a little bold and my first steps to that was to do my 24hr journey with him to India. I had zero cabin strollers except for my backpack which was stuffed with books, games, electronics, & his food. This post is more for moms like me that are keen on getting started on traveling around with their toddler but are nervous about what to take along with them and what not to. Here are a few things that really helped me through my 24hr jou...

We measure our lives based on these, we are guided by these, & we change with these sometimes. Your first steps, your first words, then for the longest duration in between its about how much you scored, how many you scored or how much you made for your self and your next generation but there comes a time when you truly start living for yourself. My dad turned 60 a few weeks ago and so I promptly tucked my son into my arms and braved the long journey to India with him alone. I've been fortunate to travel back and forth to India once every 6 months from the time I moved to the US considering most NRIs are known for their rather infrequent visits because of visa issues and sometimes their personal preference. Me, I am a sucker to go back every 2 months if I could. Hopefully in the long run I don't have to do this and will move back permanently. Friends and family say that will change with time. This trip was very important to me. I wanted to be there to see my dad turn 60...

It was a nice breezy evening, an invitation to a relatives house didn't seem like the best thing to be doing but what the hell, I am here to stay so might as well start getting used to this phase of life. A few appetizers down the tummy started a conversation I am not particularly fond of. The quintessential NRIs and a couple of visiting deshvasis' chatting about how we should make an effort in preserving the Hindu in us through the gentle touch of shringar kumkum on our foreheads. It started with the reprimanding of an innocent 12yr old for not doing so. My eyes started to roll involuntarily. There was a gentleman who taught the Indians of the world about Hindutva There was a gentleman who taught Indians of the world about karma and dharma and there was the gentleman who also didn't bother to take care of his papa and mumma so, enlighten me now what is the jazz of teaching about Hindutva? An article I read some where once said 'Indian values are a red herring....

I recently bumped into a page on Wired while working on something mundane (big surprise!), #maketechhuman . Ideally i should've spent 10 secs, looked for what I was looking for, found it, shut it, get done. Thats how tech works anyway right? Constantly helping you get things done faster, right from the Ctrl + F to Siri understanding my south indian accent (personally toh i don't have any bas kehne ki baat hain). But I froze, not because of the locks in my shoulder muscles but because this hashtag unlike most made me think. Wired says, we know you're excited about technology, maybe you're worried. Tell us about it. I've always fiercely defended Google's strategy to collect the world's information and make it easily accessible to itself to improve our lives. I mean whats the harm right? I know, I know, will I say that when they get closer to controlling our lives in the pretext of making it easy. May be I will be worried. This is probably my version of #mak...

In an attempt to chronicle all the little things that amuse me, teach me, and reinforce what I learn at MIT, I have started a new blog on Tumblr which in itself is an experiment to try another microblogging site. My first post is about my 6th Birch Box that is much like the Pet Rock - A blatant way for 2 HBS ladies to make money off of willing victims like myself to be pampered by fancy little samples of all things new and beautiful self paid for. http://ruthusreebashyam.tumblr.com/ Visit and be nice!

Senility begins and middle age ends when descendants outnumber friends. Too early for me to think about middle age and lesser friends but a series of events got me wondering if I was getting there earlier than I am supposed to. With my son away in desh, I was heavily dependent on technology to ensure I stayed in his hippocampus. As most trips to India, this one was heavily planned as well, and I was overtly excited about it but a sudden unfortunate incident brought me back to square one. The last year has been marked by constant changes that have tested me for flexibility of a trapeze artist considering my resistance to change is unpleasant(very mildly put) to me and others around me. The one thing I have admired in a very good friend but hated being put through was to be able to let go of a structure and not have a boundary. Ironically, its the one thing I have come out learning with all of these changes. My father-in-law that I barely got to spend time with passed away in a month ...

Its something I never really dreamed of for myself. I always assumed it was my brothers that would hold the MIT degree, and i'd be beaming about it to the whole world. So, every time the T announced "Next stop, Kendall MIT Cambridge" my heart beat faster because I was walking the infinite corridor like it was meant to be mine. Although I have been going to school for technically a year. I hadn't truly experienced the MIT world until now that I have started to live by myself in the heart of Cambridge. I now walk with the same rush in my step that most students have. My anxiety over how i'd live by myself ended when I took that walk down to the post office and wandered back through the lanes, when my to-do list was done and refilled, when i waited for the bus just to watch it roll in, drive away and then turned around towards the T-station and I was still ok. I like the busy me I have realized. My calendar and to-do list remain full with changing events but i s...

Making me tumble and swing trouble's what you bring strange love strange how, you control my every little move now hanging from your strings is all i know Koop probably had a young lad in mind but the words really do reflect my experience as a first time mom! For most women, the core like a good friend says is to cater to everyone around you willingly so when some one steps in to your life that adamantly insists they need you and you alone; its time to say a big 'oh yeahhhh' that's right I am kind of a big deal around here! People that know me well enough know straight away that I am not a kids person so when the kit turned green indicating someone taking up space in my belly I worried for it. The baby was going to be my guinea pig! The first two weeks are overwhelming with a paramount feeling of attachment after that it's pretty much like a routine of jumping from task to task. The hormonal interactions are purely chemical and considered to be the most pow...

I've had a lot of first times over the last couple of months. Living on the east coast, stepping from under my parents protective wing, snow on my coat. Trivial yet something I had a longing to see was snow fall. I have seen snow more in form of glaciers near the Himalayas and trekked on it at Franz Josef but never the gliding of tiny soft balls of white making their presence felt. Anybody who hasn't seen snow fall secretly would kill to see one. I just haven't met anyone that doesn't care about seeing snow. Your first snow fall is almost like your first kiss. Yes, I am being dramatic but I am like that ok? The intensity and the quantity doesn't matter what matters is that it happened and you were there to witness it happen. I remember feeling like a kid when I saw the first tiny balls of snow after my Finance class. A girl walking ahead spread her arms out Shahrukh Khan style and had the most content smile on her face. I initially dismissed this drizzle as rain bu...

I never quite understood why everyone made such a big deal about Fall colors or seasons in general! Where I come from, it was always Peak Summer, Less Summer, Summer. These were the only seasons I knew of. But as my life turned new leaves with baby & college, the trees around were busy shedding theirs. The first few leaves on the sidewalks made me realize the reddish-brown & yellow weren't such a bad color at all. Then started my enthusiasm to see what I always assumed were photoshopped pics of Fall colors. Our attempts to wake up early in the morning to drive down to New Hampshire or Maine were countless. We finally made it this weekend with a couple of friends. Its a 2 hour drive up north from Boston. We basically were a bit late on the Fall schedule and so had to really pray hard that we'd find some of that color! The drive to NH was quite smooth in the Lexus 350. The one thing that worked in our favor the first half of the day was definitely the weather. It was mos...

As much as I love days full of things to do, I'd like to clarify I do not mean the cooking, cleaning, and running errands sort of things but the having fun sort of a day, I really do love the one-off quiet day that goes by without much done on the outside. I had the amazing day of doing nothing but be locked in a library, eat some delicious Italian food, and end it with some philosophy at a train station. Concord library was my first stop that day. My right-after-marriage life had started to pose one threat - boredom from being a housewife. Shravan suggested I head to the library so the books can keep me busy that day. Sounds good! Off I went into the Concord library. I started at the magazine section right by the door and glided through the comic strips to novels and finally to travel, my true calling. I read my first physical New Yorker April edition, and really liked the articles for how random they got. I read an article on the Mad Men series that talked about what the time fr...

My nth attempt to write a post about this, and I am still at a loss of words when it comes to this one crazy hell of a trip that tested me physically, mentally, and my funny bone. I do make it sound like I've conquered peaks but for me this was close enough. There are trips you plan for months, and there are trips you plan in weeks ... this was one that changed in days. All we had planned for sure was destination 'Valley Of Flowers' through Delhi. Two excited pro-back packers + two excited yet unsure about the 'plan' travellers makes for a memorable trip that still cracks me up when I think about it. It wasn't just about us goofing around sometimes it was how the plot itself turned out to be. When we first started planning for this, the only thing that went on in my head was how my brother used to passionately talk about his friends that used to trek to the base camp or some exotic location in the North-east. I was excited to say the least. Plans fell into p...